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June 12, 2011

It is overcast and generally June gloomy. Why I wonder, do we always think of spring as busting out all over in light and bright when in reality it is hung with a pall of pearly gray. Between the weather and the fact that the girls and I are deeply immersed in a book on tape I  am feeling not melancholy but punky. My grandmother used to use that word and it fits doesn’t it? Not quite right with the world but not altogether wrong either. Looking through photos to share with you I found only this one Beauty took last year. Seems to offer a light of hope.

This next week will past frightfully  quick and I hope I am up to the challenge. Picnics, flute performances, Rainbow Bridge,Reverse Rose Ceremony,  Coaches birthday and packing. Order and Coach will leave for Augusta Georgia later this week. She’ll compete in National Championships.

This is the first year I have missed so many races and will miss Nats. Odd isn’t it; when they are little you are sure you’ll see every skit, play, performance, race, game, you name it, but the reality is unfortunately  as realities go, as they grow older your presence is less required, often eschewed and feels less required. Now I am not saying it’s not “required”, as in be there or be slacker mom, it’s that it is  just not needed so much. Oh they like having you there alright, mostly, begrudgingly , if you’re quiet, stay to the back, don’t let on your their parent.  But the need for bolstering, for recognition of their accomplishment reflected in your eyes has waned. Hopefully. Hopefully they’ve received your ” ‘atta way to go’, well done” enough that they can manufacture a sense of centered self-pride. So off they will fly into the wild blue yonder and I will stay grounded and learn from phone calls and iChat how it goes. Not sure I like this giving child wings idea. 

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